I found the Xmas card & check from my biological-paternal-grandmother last night.
She got my new last name wrong and left out the "MaidenName-" and only listed me as my husband's last name. I didn't stop being a member of my adoptive family when I got married, thank you very much.
I'm sorely tempted to just mail it back to her with a note saying "You went to K's wedding, but couldn't bother to come to my wedding over some stupid cows. Apparently, I'm not a real grandchild or member of this family. I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone who treats me like that."
But sending a letter like that would really hurt my Pops and probably cause a HUGE argument with other family members. However, why didn't any of them stand up for me and tell their mother/grandmother that she was being really petty and that it's incredibly hurtful to snub a grandchild like that.
She missed my first wedding in 2005, but it was back in Chicago and my grandfather was too ill to travel and she wouldn't travel without him - I think she made the right choice then. But it also made it all the more important to me that she attend this one - it was local for her, and grandfather had passed several years ago. (And gosh darnit, I travelled for his funeral right after having orthopedic surgery on my arm! Stitches, bandages, vicodin and all!)
She's also my only living grandparent who acknowledges me. My Mom's father died before I was born and her mom passed before I moved back to Texas. I had no relationship with Dad's father, who died c. 1996, and his mother passed shortly after my Ex-Husband and I split (her last message to me, via Dad, was "Leah's going to be OK.", and gosh darnit, I won't prove her wrong!). My biological mother parents refuse to meet me or even acknowledge me (F*** them! I'm a neat person and I don't need them!).
So with that in mind, why on earth am I letting this even bother me? To be honest, I don't know. Maybe I miss my Granny R and I'm trying to find a replacement. IG will never be Granny R. They're vastly different people.
I know, I know. I should take this to a therapist. Maybe when the new insurance kicks in. Counting the days to April.